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Against the euro the pound was down; against the kilo the pound was also down

After the fall of the pound (£), the toll is not closed yet. With less £s in their pockets, Britons will be traveling less and for shorter distances. This has caused an increase in the use of decimals for measuring distances, which may precipitate the devaluation of the mile. A spokesperson for the Institute of Preservation of Britishness declared, "even if the mile drops below the kilometer it will still be our measure of distance. And the good news is that this year fewer of us will go through the awkward experience of driving on the right lane". But there are more bad news. The government is considering, in order to avoid inflation, to deflate the values of the pound (lb) and the pint. This way, for the same amount of money, we would be able to buy the same nominal weight of mince and volume of milk and beer. Questioned if the change was mere cosmetics, the chancellor of the exchequer replied "as long as we have our own instruments of measurement we will use them as tools to improve the performance of the national economy. It is our obligation, invested upon us by the electorate, to use all the mechanisms of policy available to alleviate the effects of the crisis on families throughout the country". The institute of National Statistics is deliberating whether the introduction of changes in the imperial unities should impose changes on the formula for the calculation of inflation.
Meanwhile, the conservative party decided to short sell Labour shares. All analysts converge to the idea that a left wing government in the USA may expose even more the divorce between Labour's brand and product. A source from the Tories confided to us: "We're gonna make a lot of money, and since we managed to borrow a large position, we may even give them a little push when we sell. It's win-win for us. I love this hedged politics". But yesterday it was commented in Whitehall that the government was working on a plan to bailout the Labour Party. "Either that or we nationalize the Tories", said a prominent MP. "But we'll keep Cameron as Chief Executive. We respect the basic principles of competition and free market".

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