Skip to main content

Against the euro the pound was down; against the kilo the pound was also down

After the fall of the pound (£), the toll is not closed yet. With less £s in their pockets, Britons will be traveling less and for shorter distances. This has caused an increase in the use of decimals for measuring distances, which may precipitate the devaluation of the mile. A spokesperson for the Institute of Preservation of Britishness declared, "even if the mile drops below the kilometer it will still be our measure of distance. And the good news is that this year fewer of us will go through the awkward experience of driving on the right lane". But there are more bad news. The government is considering, in order to avoid inflation, to deflate the values of the pound (lb) and the pint. This way, for the same amount of money, we would be able to buy the same nominal weight of mince and volume of milk and beer. Questioned if the change was mere cosmetics, the chancellor of the exchequer replied "as long as we have our own instruments of measurement we will use them as tools to improve the performance of the national economy. It is our obligation, invested upon us by the electorate, to use all the mechanisms of policy available to alleviate the effects of the crisis on families throughout the country". The institute of National Statistics is deliberating whether the introduction of changes in the imperial unities should impose changes on the formula for the calculation of inflation.
Meanwhile, the conservative party decided to short sell Labour shares. All analysts converge to the idea that a left wing government in the USA may expose even more the divorce between Labour's brand and product. A source from the Tories confided to us: "We're gonna make a lot of money, and since we managed to borrow a large position, we may even give them a little push when we sell. It's win-win for us. I love this hedged politics". But yesterday it was commented in Whitehall that the government was working on a plan to bailout the Labour Party. "Either that or we nationalize the Tories", said a prominent MP. "But we'll keep Cameron as Chief Executive. We respect the basic principles of competition and free market".

Popular posts from this blog

Minute nods

Life in the city is made possible by a fragile web of mutual trust, though a filigree of unspoken pleasantries, and an intricate meshwork of altruistic gestures. A permanent exchange of mute interrogations and minute nods between strangers forms a complex language that ensures the common conditions for survival. Of course we can see bodies looking past other bodies, trying to walk though, overtake, get there before them, without knowing very well where exactly is there, or whether there is in fact a desired place, or if what there is to do there is actually what needs doing. But that is always what is emphasised when talking about the city, isn't it, the rat race. It's a gross version of urban metabolism in which life and its processes are reduced to competition between contained unities, as if one had just arrived from a rushed reading of the theory of evolution and had forgotten how life is sustained by a convuluted tangle of symbiotic connections with other animals, pla...
Read more

The boy and the soldiers

Sitting on the riverbank I watch what floats by. The stream brings a child sitting on a hospital bed. He must be 12, about my son’s age. A bandage hangs from his left shoulder where his arm should be. He cries conpulsively, in a foreign language, so I can only imagine what he is saying. His wailing reminds me of phantom pain, and the tearful words seem to mourn the sudden amputation of his childhood, possibly performed without anaesthetic. But then I realise that his cries may refer to a deeper pain. Maybe the blast that took his arm also took his mum. Maybe all his family, as many in Gaza these days. Before this story enters into a loop, I flick it away with my thumb, making the stream move forward. Another image stops in front of me. Three young men on a desert road dance to Staying Alive by Bee Gees. Their faces look very familiar to me. But it’s not easy to see their faces. They are partially covered with helmets and their bodies are surrounded by military gear. They don’t sp...
Read more

um brasileiro a mil à hora na revolução dos cravos

Read more